When my mother died, my husband felt very sad. Our acquaintances in the U.S did not even know whose mother actually died. We had to come to Nigeria for the burial. But on the day of the burial, the most shocking thing happened. My mother-in-law was conspicuously absent. My friends and family could not believe it.
Some people even said they sighted her in her shop early that morning, gorgeously dressed and attending to customers. They were therefore surprised that she did not show up at the burial.
Later, a friend of mine, who my mother-in-law did not know, went to her shop and met her discussing with her very close friend. After listening to their discussion, she came home to tell me that I should be careful with my mother-in-law. She quoted her as saying that she did not come for my mother’s burial because she could not pretend to be saddened by her death. She was even quoted as saying that now that my mother was dead, my husband follows her to heaven and continues to make her his mother.
That statement meant so much to me, so two days later, I went to a pastor and complained to her. She prayed and revealed that my mother-in-law and some others in her group were responsible for my mother’s death. I would not have believed her, but for the fact that I had not said anything before she told me that. She went on to say that if I were not careful, I would soon die like my mother. She said the woman was very wicked and that she was ready to do anything to make sure that her son obeyed her only.
I left the woman’s place, partially convinced that what she had said was true. But I decided to behave as if I never heard it since there was no way I could confirm it. But I was shocked when my elder sister also came and said the same thing. She said the circumstances that surrounded my mother’s death made an aunt of mine to go in search of spiritual help. She said my mother just shouted from her sleep that she had headache, and she died a few minutes later.
My sister said she was there with my aunt when the spiritualist told her that my mother-in-law was responsible for our mother’s death. I pretended as if I had never heard a similar story. I told God that since I was a Christian, He should never allow any evil to befall me in the course of fighting for my right.
My sister advised me to divorce my husband since I had only two children for him. She said it was better for me to do so early so that I could find another husband in good time. But I was not ready to marry two husbands. I told her to only pray for me.
Although my husband saw his mother, I went back to the U.S. without seeing her. I made efforts to see her, but I could not. We had barely spent a month in the US when my husband said he was going to Europe. He said he would call me as soon as he got a line. But instead of Europe, he travelled to Lagos. I would not have known about it if a cousin of mine had not called me to say that she saw my husband and had thought that we came to Nigeria together before my younger sister told her that I was not around.
When I heard that my husband was in Nigeria and not Europe, I knew something was fishing. So, I travelled secretly to Lagos. This time, I picked a cab from the airport and headed straight home, without even alerting my close friend who had brought me home the first time. When I got home, my husband was not there and everywhere was very quiet.
I did not even see the security man, so I made for my room upstairs. What I saw almost made me to faint. Unknown to me, my husband had come for the christening of a set of twins another woman had for him. This was apart from the one he threw a party for earlier. My mother-in-law was there, sitting with her on the bed and helping her to take care of one of the twins. That baby almost dropped from her hand when she looked up and saw that it was me.
I did not know whether to faint or die outright. All that had happened was too much for me to bear. And I could no longer cry to my mother. The next thing my mother-in-law did was to put the baby on the bed and made to leave the room. I almost pulled her back forcibly when she reached the door, but for the grace of God.
I decided that I was not going to fight, but quietly drive my point home. So, I turned to Iya Ibeji (the mother of the twins) and told her that she should please leave my room and go to wherever she came from. But she also proved stubborn. She said she belonged there. I told her to look at the wedding pictures on the wall and look at me again, for her to know I am the legally married wife. She did so, hissed and started to pack her things. Although I was glad she did that, I told myself that if I were in her shoes, I would not have moved an inch.
She had a driver, so she called him and within 30 minutes, they were all out of the premises. Immediately they left, my mother-in-law came and started shouting at me. She said there was no way a woman would come to her son’s house to control him; that his son could marry as many wives as he wanted. I told her that she wanted to ruin his life like she ruined those of others. She grabbed me and said since I had started to abuse her; I should cap it with beating her up. It was her children that came and separated us.
My husband, knowing what had happened, refused to pick his calls or come home. I later learnt that he had gone with the woman to one of our houses in Lagos. When I complained to my sister, she said I should leave them alone so that they would not kill me. But I felt that if I did as my sister advised, it would amount to wasting all the efforts I have invested in my husband. I was not ready to let another woman have the last laugh. But when I started falling ill and my husband did not show his face still, I had to think twice.
One of our tenants called me and told me that I should seek spiritual help to my problem. She said my mother-in-law would make the house so hot for me that I would pack out in a hurry. She said I should allow her to do whatever she liked with her son instead of exposing myself to danger.
Most of my friends have also been saying that the source of my husband’s sudden wealth is questionable and I should be careful with him. I have been back in the U.S for the past six months. I am torn between keeping my marriage by staying neck-deep in trouble and leaving my husband and enjoying peace. He has called to beg me, but he says he does not have the guts to face me, which is why he has not joined me in the U.S.
What should I do?
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