Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I did all I could to make my husband wealthy, but his wealth became my nightmare

My husband was the first man in my life and we loved each other dearly even before we got married. I come from a fairly rich family, so my father could afford to send me to the United States of America for further learning after my first degree. My husband finished from the same university I attended a year before me, and he was about rounding off his national youth service when I was leaving for the US. It was a tough decision for me to take because I was not sure I would still have him when I returned to Nigeria.
I finally made up my mind to go, but not until my people had agreed to a wedding date. I was to come back after four months for the wedding. We agreed that my father would arrange my husband’s trip to the US too, so that we would not stay apart, and that he did in a record time.
The wedding was a big one. His people had nothing, so we had to shoulder the responsibility of making it successful. I was responsible for everything his nuclear family used on that day, and they were grateful.
After the wedding, we travelled together to the U.S. I waited till I had finished my master’s programme before I got pregnant. All through that time, my husband remained the calm and loving guy I had met and married. Then suddenly, God answered our prayers and everything changed for better. My husband met some of his schoolmates in the U.S and before I knew it, money started rolling in from everywhere.
I was happy, that at last, he was going to bail out his entire family from poverty. I also felt happy that I was instrumental to his breakthrough. He took very good care of my baby and me and also went home regularly to see his people. His job would not allow for him to just sit back in the U.S. He travelled a lot to England and other countries.
I had another child for him two years after the first one, and I did not suspect that he had changed from the man that I knew. Three years after his status changed, a friend of mine called me and said I must take the next flight to Nigeria to see what my husband was doing behind my back. I did not take her serious at first. But when she said she would pay my fare to Nigeria, I knew she meant business.
She told me to come on a particular day, and said I must not let my husband or even my people know that I had plans to come to Nigeria.
I took my children to a friend’s place so that I would be able to go to Nigeria as advised by my friend. She was at the airport the day I arrived Nigeria to take me straight to our house in Lagos. I asked her what the matter was. She said she had thought she should not tell me what it was until we got there, but on a second thought, she felt that if she did not, I could faint by the time I saw what was happening. She told me that they were having a naming ceremony in our house in Lagos and that my mother-in-law sold Ankara to her friends and hired a band.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was dumbfounded. However, I promised my friend that I would just walk in like a guest and leave them to their conscience. But when I got there, I could not. I went straight into our bedroom and found the mother of the baby there changing her clothes in the presence of some of her friends. My friend was following me to prevent me from doing anything rash, but she was not close enough. I grabbed the woman and dragged her out of the room, cursing on top of my voice as I did so.
My husband came and started begging. He prostrated and said I should not put him to shame, but I told him that the U.S police would soon come after him. I demanded that he sent the woman and her people out of the house immediately. When he was not doing so, I ran to the kitchen and took a knife. Immediately, he sent them and the baby out.
When the fight was over, I sat down on the bed and cried. My friend could not leave me alone because she did not know what could happen next. It was very difficult for me to bear such, but my husband was so remorseful that I did not know what to do. I had thought it was the end of our relationship but he begged that he did not know what went over him.
I was to spend only one week in Nigeria, so two days after that incident, I went to my parents’ house to let them know I was around and to tell my mother what happened despite the fact that my husband begged me not to. I felt that if I did not tell her, I would be doing myself more harm. She screamed when I told her what happened and told me to tell my husband to see her.
My husband respected my parents very much, so he went to see her immediately. I was there also. My mother talked to him like her son and he started crying. He said he did not really understand how all that happened and that it was as if he was under a spell.
On that note, we both left for the U.S. All attempts to see my mother-in-law proved abortive. My friend said it could be that she could not face me after all that happened that day. When we got back to the US, my husband kept to his promise to be a good husband. He refused to see the woman again and only sent money for the upkeep of her baby. But his mother was not happy. She called him one day and started saying all sorts of things on the phone. She did not know that I was the one that had picked the receiver, so she started saying that he was not meant for one woman only, that he was going to marry the woman that bore him a son whether he liked it or not. She said she knew that my parents and I had charmed him and that before long, he would see her handiwork. She said any mother that did not want her to reap the fruit of her labour in respect of her son would die untimely. She said she knew that my husband had made my mother his mother, and that she would make sure that she corrected that.
That day, I just dropped the phone without letting her know that she had been talking to the wrong person. I wondered how the woman could change so much overnight. The same woman that almost cursed herself as she prayed for me the day my father got my husband a visa. The woman who promised to fight tooth and nail to make sure I reaped the fruit of my labour. I was crying when my husband came in. He asked what happened and I told him. He said she was just being a woman and that I should not mind her. But deep down in me, I knew I was in for real trouble.
Two months after that, we heard the shocking news that my beloved mother had died.


Watch out for the concluding part of this intriguing story.

"To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity."
***Donald A. Adams

The Dead Woman Who Flagged Down a Motorist to Save her Baby.

One afternoon, a couple was traveling on the road when all of a sudden at a far distance they saw a woman in the middle of the road asking them to stop.The wife told her husband to keep on driving because it might be too dangerous, but the husband decided to pass by slowly so he wouldn't stay with the doubt on his mind of what might have happened and the chances of anyone being hurt. As they got closer, they noticed a woman with cuts and bruises on her face as well as on her arms. They then decide to stop and see if they could be of any help. The cut and bruised woman was begging for help telling them that she had been in a car accident and that her husband and son, a new born baby, were still inside the car which was in a deep ditch. She told them that the husband was already dead but that her baby seemed to still be alive. The husband that was traveling decided to get down and try to rescue the baby and he asked the hurt woman to stay with his wife inside the their car. When he got down he noticed two people in the front seats of the car but he didn't pay any importance to it and took out the baby quickly and got up to take the baby to it's mother. When he got up, he didn't see the mother anywhere so he asked his wife where she had gone. She told him that the woman followed him back to the crashed car. When the man decided to go look for the woman, he noticed that clearly the two people in the front seats were dead; a woman and a man with both their seat belts on. When he looked closer, he noticed that it was the exact same woman that was begging them for help in the beginning. Do you think that it was a miracle of God? The Baby now lives with family members and he will live to tell the story.

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If you believe in the Almighty and that miracles like these can truly happen, send this to your friends. If you don't send it, nothing will happen, only that some people won't be able to know of the greatness of the Lord.

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently. "
**Henry Ford (1863-1947) American Industrialist


"The important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part. The essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well. "

** Baron de Coubertin, The Olympic Creed

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms Prt 3

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife, which was her favorite. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old. That was what he thought... he returned home with the hope of giving his wife the flowers, as he came through the driveway, there were cars, there was his and her family at his house, his heart beating fast, as he was about to walk through the door, a stretcher with a body wrapped in white was coming out, he sobbed his heart out as he realized it was his wife and that when he carried her out of the house in his arms that morning it was the last time. He thought of all the time he'd wasted, the pain he caused his wife during her last days, not realizing he had given the virus to her, he realized then that he neglected a thing so beautiful and wonderful, a treasure he should have preserved, but it was too late, the damage had already been done, all the things he could have done differently, all the things he could have said, all the times they could have done things to make their love grow, all the sweet memories they should have built.........nothing could turn back the clock. Reality hit, he was a selfish self absorbent fool, a womanizer with no morals who brought shame and death to his home because of greed and lack of respect for women and in this case particularly his wife, and the sad reality of his wife dying and the inevitability of him too dying leaving their son and AIDS orphan hit home.

Married: Don't take your marriage for granted. Remember the vows u made before God. Fights with all that u have. God bless.

Single but wish to get married: Know your ideal partner & not settle for less coz u'll end-up in the divorce court.

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