Trust His timing

I have read the instructions from His word about trusting God. I am listening to Him, praying for His will to be done. I believe that He is working even though I cannot see it. I know that He is in charge. I know that nothing will happen that escapes His view. I know that He cares for me. I know that He has always and will always deal with me according to His justice and goodness. However, there are still times when I have difficulty trusting His timing.

Few days before I had to go on maternity leave, I kept asking God, why the delay? Why does it have to be this way with me? But I was encouraged and my spirit was lifted when I read the message below sent in by a friend. I know you will understand better when you read my testimony of safe delivery here.

I have discovered three realities about trusting His timing.

First, trusting His timing is sometimes hard. There are times when I eagerly lay my cares down, but then I decide not to wait for God to work and pick it back up again. There are other times when my concerns must be ripped from my hands. My doubts and fears take over: What if He does not listen? What if He hears the wrong thing? What if He chooses to act in a way that I do not like? Or worse, what if He chooses not to act at all? I have swallowed hard when He responded with "No," and I have laid awake at night wrestling with His answers that appear to be, "Not now."

Second, trusting His timing is sometimes easy. There are times when waiting for God to work His plan is easy. Laying my concerns at the feet of the Lord and leaving them there comes naturally. I have experienced answered prayer soon after making the request. I receive his "Yes" with joy and gratitude. I receive His "No" with patience and trust.

Third, whether easy or difficult: His timing is always right.

Solomon said this, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11, NIV)

You may be in a waiting time. Waiting for the answer. Waiting for direction. Waiting for peace. Waiting for hope. Waiting for healing. Waiting for victory. Doubt and uncertainty set in. Questions. Fears.

Whatever you are waiting for trusting His timing is always right.

He will make everything beautiful in its time.

Shalom!

God Is Ever Faithful.

Got this from a friend and I thought it’s a story worth sharing. Please read and learn that regardless of how difficult a situation is God is forever faithful.

In the country of Armenia, in 1988, Samuel and Danielle sent their young son, Armand, off to school. Samuel squatted before his son and looked him in the eye. "Have a good day at school, and remember, no matter what, I'll always be there for you." They hugged and the boy ran off to school.

Hours later, a powerful earthquake rocked the area. In the midst of the pandemonium, Samuel and Danielle tried to discover what happened to their son but they couldn't get any information. The radio announced that there were thousands of casualties. Samuel then grabbed his coat and headed for the schoolyard. When he reached the area, what he saw brought tears to his eyes. Armand's school was a pile of debris. Other parents were standing around crying.

Samuel found the place where Armand's classroom used to be and began pulling a broken beam off the pile of rubble. He then grabbed a rock and put it to the side, and then grabbed another one.

One of the parents looking on asked, "What are you doing?" "Digging for my son," Samuel answered. The man then said, "You're just going to make things worse! The building is unstable," and tried to pull Samuel away from his work.

Samuel just kept working. As time wore on, one by one, the other parents left. Then a worker tried to pull Samuel away from the rubble. Samuel looked at him and said, "Won't you help me?" The worker left and Samuel kept digging.

All through the night and into the next day, Samuel continued digging. Parents placed flowers and pictures of their children on the ruins. But, Samuel just kept working. He picked up a beam and pushed it out of the way when he heard a faint cry. "Help! Help!" Samuel listened but didn't hear anything again. Then he heard a muffled voice, "Papa?"

Samuel began to dig furiously. Finally he could see his son. "Come on out, son!" he said with relief.
"No," Armand said. "Let the other kids come out first because I know you'll get me." Child after child emerged until, finally, little Armand appeared. Samuel took him in his arms and Armand said, "I told the other kids not to worry because you told me that you'd always be there for me!"

Fourteen children were saved that day because one father was faithful.

How much more faithful is our heavenly Father! Whether trapped by fallen debris or ensnared by life's hardships and struggles, we are never cut off from God's faithfulness. He is true to His character. He is reliable and trustworthy and can always be counted on.


Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations..."

1 Corinthians 1:9 - God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

Psalm 37:28, "For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever"
While not trust HIM now and see how faithful GOD is.

Someone sent me the Wooden Bowl!

Got this great piece from friend, it’s worth reading; please ensure you read to the end.A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor." So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl! When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:

A rainy day,

The elderly,

Lost luggage, and

Tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life".I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just afriendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.!

Shalom.

The Fight Against Child Abuse: A Tribute To The Late Nurin Jazlin (1999 to 2007)

This post is from NAFASG
In our times of darkness, children are the ones who will brighten us up. No matter what ordeals we have to endure in our daily lives, we know that we can overcome them the moment we set eyes on children. Their innocence and purity in them will always give us a sense of peacefulness and calm that is beyond words. And it goes without saying that life would be meaningless without seeing them smile, hearing them laugh and cry, and feeling their small and flawlessly gentle hands that want to reach out to us.Yet, there are some who show no empathy and sensitivity towards these beautiful souls. Worse still, they would dunk themselves into physical violence and cruelty towards the children without even thinking twice. Such acts can deem someone to be worse than an animal, because even an animal has compassion and love for its young.

What is going on with this world? Why must such horrid acts be carried out? Why do these people ever exist in this world?

Please take this time to read this special message from us, and show your utmost support and sympathy towards the family of the late Nurin Jazlin, who passed away tragically and brutally at the age of only eight. Little Nurin Jazlin’s body was discovered in a gym bag on 17th September, one month after she was abducted. Upon the discovery, she was seen to be in the most horrifying state ever. Her hair was short and curled up, when it was originally straight and long. Her body was pale and badly bruised from head to toe, and there were traces of foreign objects like brinjal and cucumber found in the virginal area of her body.

Parents of the deceased took a long time to acknowledge her death, but eventually did after all the thorough DNA tests had been carried out by the forensics department. Her body was finally buried on 21st September. Her father, Jazimin Abdul Jalil, had expressed his sorrow towards this tragedy, stating that whoever who caused her death was not a human being, but rather, an animal.

This was the result of an outrage of modesty (See Picture On The Right) caused by a man of age between 35 and 40, who was thought to be someone who enjoyed torturing people, particularly children. Along with him was a 23-year-old lady, who was apparently his partner in crime. The lady had been found and called for questioning by the Malaysian authorities, whereas the man has yet to be found. Hence, we are urging all of you here to play your part in finding this serial killer cum sexual offender and ensuring that justice is served to the deceased and her family.

If you know of the culprits’ whereabouts, keep us informed immediately, or directly inform her uncle, Jasni Abdul Jalil, via his blog, which he had specially created as a form of dedication to her.

Over the years, we have heard of children’s lives being taken away due to the evil doings of heartless adults. Nurin’s death was one of the most gruesome and tragic deaths that made many of us shocked, despaired and furious. Do you want more children to die in the hands of these sadistic people? Do you still wish to hear such saddening news of child abuse?Then let us do our part right away! Together we can make this world a better place for the little ones. Let us all join hand in hand and put a stop to such cruelty towards them once and for all! Fight against child abuse today.We have created a logo to show our support towards the fight against child abuse. If you would like to join in this movement, please copy and paste this article in your site and place the logo. After displaying this article, leave us a comment and we will add your link in our list of bloggers who have voluntarily helped us in this movement.


Copy and paste the above code to your post.Once you have added the article and badge in your post, please inform us by leaving a comment on this article and we will include you in the list. You may also wish to place the badge on your sidebar. PLEASE HELP TO SPREAD THE MESSAGE. Thank you.

WE ARE AGAINST CHILD ABUSE. ARE YOU?

I, Rolando, support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Janice, support the Movement.This is my supported article..

I, Karen, support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Flsam, support the Movement. This is my supported article

I, Little Chumsy, support the Movement.

I, Amel support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Desperate Mummy, support the Movement.

I, Winston support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Xiaoyenzi support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Jean Chia support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Kee Yit support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Aryst support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Bobby support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Lilifxt support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Thira support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, Lee Chien support the Movement.This is my supported article.

I, JaMiLLa support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Mariuca support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Jesse support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Mhrmz support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Mhrmz support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Robert support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Kero support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Lady Java support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Rayne Lim support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Sweet Pea support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Colin support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Buffy support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, W_W_H support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, Chessnoid support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I,Bola support the Movement. This is my supported article.

I, YOUR NAME (MAIN URL) support the movement. This is my supported article (YOUR ARCHIVE LINK).

Agony of love

Mesh was not like any other married woman; she was a beauty, slim with all the right curves in the right places. She was the envy of her women friends and many of her husband’s friends do praise the proud husband for having such a beautiful woman for a wife. You need to know her to appreciate the work God did on her, after three children she is still able to glow and radiate such beauty. Mesh has a sister who is not as beautiful as she is and when people refer to the differences in their looks she always answered that her sister took after their father’s side of the family. When they were younger, a sort of rivalry does exist between them, Mesh is quiet, intelligent and easygoing christain, people loved her, while her sister Rate is quite the opposite and was always jealous of the attention she received whenever they were together. After her graduation from the university, Mesh decided to settle down with her heartthrob, God blessed them and they were able to live comfortably well in their own apartment. When Rate also graduated from college, Mesh asked her to come live with her and her family, they all got along so well that people do think that Rate is Mesh’s sister in law instead of her sister because she was so close to the husband, Jack. Both were always seen strolling together in the neighbourhood, holding hands and so on. People started to pass side comments and insinuate all sorts of things and even asking Mesh to confirm the true relationship between Rate and herself. Mesh refused to listen to all this simply because she did not think there is anything bad in her sister and her husband being so close. She still did not think that there was anything going on even when the oldest of her three children asked her why daddy and auntie Rate sometimes locked themselves in auntie Rate’s room when mummy was not at home.
The matter finally came to a head when she had to come back home early from a trip to find her husband’s car parked in their garage when he was supposed to be at work. She entered the house with trepidation, thinking the husband has been sick and had to come home from work. Upon entering their living room, she got the shock of her life and she instantly wished she had paid attention to all those insinuations from friends and neighbours alike. It was not easy for her to discover that all this while her sister has been having illicit affair with her husband right under her nose. The husband and sister she trusted and loved so much, her question was;
If her husband could do it, why should her sister, her own flesh and blood?
If her husband had to be unfaithful, why does it have to be with her sister?
How long has her husband been cheating on her behind her back?
What does she do now? (She does not believe in divorce and she loved the man so much, BUT HER OWN SISTER!)

Disclaimer
Please note that the names mentioned here are not actual names of persons.

Be wise.

Today, I remember one of my aunties, not that she’s dead, but she just vanished and there have been rumours from people who claimed to have seen her someplace. Her trauma started at the age of twenty-one or thereabout. She was a staunch christain, who love to worship God. But she was always so secretive; no one can guess what is going through her mind, not even my mum who is her older sister. She is the type that believes everybody is her enemy, especially her relatives. Back then I used to wonder why she was staying with us if she did not trust any of us enough to confide in us, even when is sick.
One day she decided to relocate to another city (Lagos), after a few months there she called my mum to inform her that the man she wanted to marry will be coming down home with her for introduction in a few days time. Then their father was still alive and my mum told her that while their aged father is still alive, she cannot make decisions on his behalf, that it will be better if she can come home first to discuss with their father and let him fix a date for the young man’s visit. She refused and she eventually had her way. About two weeks after that, she came back to inform the family of her marriage which was already fixed for two weeks from the day of her visit. Then every body in the family warned her about the consequences of marrying a man whose relatives were not known, that according to our culture, when the man was coming for the introduction, he should have come with some of his family members, he did not and that was overlooked simply because of the way she tried to hurry everyone into the ceremony. What transpired that day I can never forget, she bluntly told everyone that her husband to be is a pastor who does not need his family’s consent to be married. On the day of the wedding, no member of his family was present, only his church members.
Few months after the wedding, we were told of their transfer to a remote village for pastoral work. Mind you, she was about four months pregnant then. Communication between us after their transfer was almost non-existent, as we kept writing letters upon letters without getting replies. Around the time we suspected that she must have been delivered, we wrote again, but still no reply, then we started getting worried and had to go to Lagos in search of their old friends who told us a very shocking story; she said the man had left the ministry that sent him on transfer, and that means they also left that village, they moved to port-Harcourt, his hometown. But that before they left the former village, the pregnancy (twin baby) disappeared. On getting to port- Harcourt, she suffered a mental illness as a result of the pregnancy’s disappearance and the husband left her there to move back to Lagos to start a new life. We heard all these precisely seven years after their wedding. Nobody knew where to look for her; we set people to look for him, but all to no avail.
My mum called me one day to tell me that, this woman just walked into our house one day out of the blue, saying all sorts of incomprehensible things, it was immediately clear that she was stark raving mad.
We all gathered round to look for solutions. We took her to all the mental homes we could think of for treatment, even churches, but no way, at a time she seems to be getting better but one day she just plain disappeared, and since then we have not set eyes on her. My mum and other relations did all they could to find her, the only thing we heard from people who claimed to have seen her was that she said she was going to look for her husband and children.
Since this incidence, I have series of unanswered questions, one of which is how it was possible for a matured pregnancy to disappeared, no miscarriage, nothing.
Then how is it possible that when our parents advise us on love matters we always turn deaf ears? Believing we know better, also forgetting that what an old man sees sitting down, a child cannot glimpse while standing. Agreed they could not tell us who to marry or not to marry, but then there are some advice they could give that may be useful in ensuring the success of the union.
Remember that wisdoms is to lay hold of God's ways and to operate at God’s frequency. It means applying the right measure for every pressure measure.
Be wise.

The help of God.

Things sometimes happen in our lives that, we may not be able to explain why it happened or the purpose for which it happened. I have heard many stories of how God uses someone to prevent something bad happening to another person. It has happened series of time, as I have heard stories like; I was supposed to be in that bus, but I had to go back home at the last minute to pick up something I forgot and that was how I escaped being a victim. One of my cousins was in a bus travelling from his state of residence to another and not quite twenty minutes into the journey, the bus somersaulted three times and fifteen out of the eighteen passengers died. He was lucky to be one of the three survivors. After regaining consciousness, he said he was thankful to God for giving him a second chance at life. I liked what he said because despite the pains from the injuries he sustained he believed that his being in that bus was not a mistake.
Sometimes back I read the story of someone also traveling in a bus to a far distance. Two hours into the trip, an argument ensued between two of the passengers, their quarrel forced the driver to stop and they were delayed for about thirty minutes, meanwhile the other passengers were very angry at the delay. After the matter was settled, they proceeded on their journey and about an hour later, came across several human corpses. A bus had been robbed thirty minutes earlier, and all the passengers concluded that the argument that delayed them was for a good cause.
There is also the story of a pastor that was working late; he decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00pm, but his wife didn't answer the phone. He let the phone ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways. The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night. The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about. Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer." The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife. The man said, "That's, OK. Let me tell you my story. ”You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!" The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!!
Let’s encourage ourselves with these thoughts, that whatever happen to us, happens for a purpose. God’s purpose for our lives will never go unfulfilled.He is a present help in times of need.

I Shouldn't Have the Onions

A young man went to a local restaurant that was voted by locals to have the best hamburgers in the city. As the young man approached the cashier to place his order, he began to rattle off the things he did not want on his burgers. He began to explain to the cashier that he did not want onions because he did not want the smell of them on his breath. Because he had nothing to counter the smell, he knew what he ingested was likely to come out of his mouth and not smell too good. Therefore, he decided that he "shouldn't have the onions."It is important for every Christian to know that everything we ingest will come out in some way or another. If we ingest negativity from people, negativity will begin to come out of our mouths. If we ingest positive things, positive affirmations will come out of our mouths. Negativity is like the smell of onions in the eyes of God and we cannot allow ourselves and/or other people place it in our lives. Doubt, complaining, self-pity are among the many onions we sometimes ingest. Because we ingest these onions, we begin to speak negative things over our lives, and it stinks. We must decide to no longer think or speak negatively over our lives or allow others to do so. God has purpose and destiny for our lives and the enemy knows this and wants to rob us of it. Therefore, it is up to us not to allow negativity to stink it up, but decide that we "shouldn't have the onions."
Our perception of people should always be good. If we expect the best from people, we get the best out of them.
It is important to remember that death and life are in the power of the tongue; we should also learn to caution our tongues.Watch what you say to people, a single word wrongly uttered could destroy a life.
I used to have this habit of abusing other drivers when I drive. Often times I come across people that drive recklessly, some stop without signaling that they are about to stop, others just come out on the road without watching well. It then became a habit to expect other drivers on the road to drive as such and when they do, I was always ready with a word and I sometimes park to reprimand and lecture, especially the taxi drivers. I later realize that some don't even have to do anything before I start screaming at them for an offence they are yet to commit. My son will turn to look at me with an expression that says: why are you shouting? And I will feel terrible inside of me until I started praying that God should teach me to overlook all these minor lapses and help me to control my tongue. It worked because any time I tried to open my mouth to abuse or curse I will remember that the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Prov. 18:21)

Opportunity

I think I have heard someone somewhere say that opportunity comes but once. Even though I believe that there are lots of opportunities for everyone to make it, but there are still some that once missed, it can never be regained. Such was the story of two people I watched Last night on Oprah’s show, the discussion was centred on making good use of money, the first is a woman who played and won a 15million dollar lottery, payable over a period of twenty years with a yearly pay of four hundred and something thousand dollars after tax. The other is a homeless can collector who hit jackpot during his scavenging act through the magnanimity of a Hollywood producer. Both were asked how they spend the money and if there is any of it stashed away and you could imagine my surprise when the woman said they bought lots of things they’ve been lacking for a long time (beach house, apartments, boats, luxury cars etc), and gave some of it away to friends and relative. The homeless guy also gave all his money out as cash and gifts for friends and family. In a nutshell none of the two actually thought of making a better use of the money or part of it, like investing in a business that could yield some profits and generate a stable income afterwards.
Here is a story of someone who did it differently. This guy was poorer than a church rat, he was ever alert to the drumbeats of parties anywhere so that he could attend/gatecrashed and gets some left over food. But luck smiled on him one day when he was invited to work somewhere as a labourer to dig the ground. As he was digging, he heard a strange sound and out of curiosity he dug a little further and struck a pot of gold that must have been buried and forgotten years back. He quickly got a sack and loaded the gold coins into it and returned home. He sold the gold coins, each was highly priced and set up a business with the proceeds and that was how poverty vanished from his life.
Would you have also done things differently?
What would you do if you were in their shoes?
Some stand in front of the door of riches, breakthrough and prosperity but still remain poor for want of a key with which to open the door.
Are you one of such people?
Some were unemployed for years and when given an opportunity to work they are not serious with the job.
Please when given an opportunity, don’t misuse or abuse it, remember some only comes once in a lifetime.

Difficult to believe.

It is sometimes difficult to understand what motivate people to do dastardly acts. I was reading the account of a man who allegedly killed his lover over a certain some of money early this year. The man was said to have lent the money to his lover, who later went back to demand for another sum with a pledge that she will make love with the suspect. When she failed to keep her promise, the suspect lured her to a deserted farmland, butchered her to death and hurriedly wrapped the body with her clothes and buried her remains in a shallow grave few metres from the scene of the crime. Unknown to him, a farmer in the adjoining farmland witnessed the whole show; he raised alarm and the villagers gathered round the man to prevent him from escape and later called in the police. Upon questioning, he claimed that he had spent so much money on the victim during their courtship, alleging that she had always denied him sex. He alleged that the victim borrowed from him and always refused to pay back only to request for more money but still refusing to have sex with him as agreed. He alleged that the victim was always coming to him with one lie or another, with a view to extorting money from him and that was just the only reason he decided to hack her to death.

What a story! What a man!

But is this right? How much money could have been involved?

Ladies, lets watch out, no amount of money is what the loss of a human life.

Miracle Tree Of August

I’m not sure what happened, but almost as soon as the ink was dry on our marriage certificate, everything seemed to go wrong for my husband and me as a couple. As nice as most of his family was, there were still a few family members who just enjoyed causing trouble, and if they could put me, or something I did, in a bad light, they did. There were also a few people in my family who didn’t help matters, either. They would pounce on any problem that they thought we might be having, making the problems that all newlywed couples have much worse.
Like many women, I found that my husband wasn’t very good at communicating. Instead of discussing our problems and trying to deal with them, my husband would just clam up or walk away. I tried to get him to understand that if we stood together as one and kept our faith in the Lord as our foundation for a strong marriage, other people would see our united front and not be any real threat to us no matter what they said or did, making our lives a lot more peaceful and happy. But as the months turned into years and my husband didn’t do any of those little things that make a wife feel special and all I got were comments that “life used to be more fun before we got married,” I slowly turned myself off from our marriage.
Oh, I did all the things I thought were right—I made his favorite foods, hemmed his pants, fixed snacks for his friends, and mowed the lawn if he was sick with a cold—but I only did them mechanically, with little or no feeling, as though I were just going through the motions. I often prayed to God, telling Him that He would have to deal with this burden if He wanted this marriage saved because I no longer had the strength to deal with the situation on my own.
One dry, hot August day, though, I stepped outside to find my husband planting a beautiful evergreen tree in the corner of our yard—something I had wanted for a very long time. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. When I met my husband’s eyes, I could see a kindness and quiet joy that I hadn’t seen in him for a long time. In that instant, the considerate things my husband had been doing for me for the past few months suddenly came to mind—things that I’d become too numb to really notice and appreciate: buying me flowers on the way home from work, listening to what I had to say, running some errands for me, and being nice to my friends.
That day, my husband and I talked together like we did before we got married and it was wonderful to share our hearts and our thoughts.
“I know I’ve been an awful fool,” my husband told me, “but it just seemed easier for a while not to deal with our problems and I guess I thought they’d just go away. But I’ll never let anyone or anything ever come between us again.”
When we left the site of our little evergreen tree we walked hand in hand, tears glistening in our eyes. My husband was wrong for getting moody, turning away from me, and not dealing with our problems head on right from the start of our marriage, but I was wrong, too. I was so busy allowing myself to turn cold and unfeeling that I couldn’t even see all of the nice things that my husband had started doing to show his love for me, and the signs of true regret for how he’d acted.
Today, we often look at our lovely evergreen tree that has grown a lot and thrived over the years, despite being planted during the dry, hot days of August. That tree has become a symbol of the united love we now share—a love that thankfully, God would not let us lose. We know that it’s truly our miracle tree of August.

My Visit From Beyond

Late June brought a stifling night in our apartment building. For some reason I tossed and turned, sensing an unknown danger about to transpire. Having checked the halls of our quiet building, I was able to finally fall into a fitful sleep. It’s probably just my imagination running wild, was my last conscious thought.
Suddenly I woke to the sound of my mother’s voice urging me to dress and then leave the building. Half-awake, my husband didn’t seem to make much sense of it all, but he went along with me, complete with cats in tow, and we drove to the park. It was much cooler there, with a breeze coming up from the river. Several of the locals use the park at night to escape the sweltering heat of their apartment buildings, too.
We’d been there perhaps an hour or two when suddenly we heard sirens coming from all directions and a red glow in the dark night was visible to us from the river! It was our twenty-seven-unit apartment building going up in flames with the entire third floor burning wildly out of control! Tenants were jumping from the second- and third-floor windows, many badly burned, only to die plummeting from their burning apartments. Everything we owned went up in smoke that night, and there were four deaths as a result. Thank God, we were out of there, hours before the fire began! It’s because of my mother’s voice pleading with me to get up and just go. Three little cats are alive today, also, because of her spirit. That was a very hot and swift-moving fire!
I call this incident my visit from beyond, as no one but my mother had any idea that this fire would begin. She led us, I believe, out of that building before catastrophe struck. Because of her, five lives were saved—my husband’s and mine, as well as the lives of three little cats.
Because of Mom’s guidance and spirit, we did not die. Readjustment was hard, as we lost everything that night, but thanks to God and my mother, we can get on with our lives.

The Diamond Ring

“I’ve had two job offers and I think I’m going to accept the one in Tennessee.”
“Oh, so far away?” I said.
“I know, Mom, but it’s the best offer I’ve had. We’re already packing.”
My son’s pretty, young bride was raised in the farmlands of central Pennsylvania. A gold wedding ring shone proudly on her finger.
“The diamond will come later,” he’d promised her.
With our help the young couple arranged to have their few belongings moved from Pennsylvania to a townhouse near the university where my son would be teaching. That first night, waiting for their furniture to arrive, we ate fast food off paper plates and sat on the floor of the empty townhouse before we went to a motel for the night. I was concerned about the dark circles under my daughter-in-law’s eyes and I asked my son if she’d been sick.
“No, Mom, she’s just been working hard. But now that we’re here she can take it easy and get more rest. We don’t need to be in a hurry to get unpacked.”
We stayed in Tennessee until the moving truck arrived and their furniture was in place, and then drove back to our own home and jobs. From the beginning my son thrived in his work, but our daughter-in-law seemed tired and unable to adjust to the warm and humid weather of Tennessee. When she developed flu-like symptoms, my son took her to the emergency room, and the doctor diagnosed pneumonia.
On the phone, my son sounded worried. Daily phone calls told us that our daughter-in-law’s temperature was coming down and she seemed to be responding to the antibiotics that were being pumped into her. Business commitments made it difficult for my husband and I to leave home and the helpless feeling of knowing that loved ones were alone and in trouble caused us sleepless nights and restless days.
Then came the day when the news changed. I could hear the panic in my son’s voice as he told me that his wife had picked up a bug in the hospital and was very sick. His voice broke and so did my heart.
I caught the earliest plane out the next morning, praying all the while that my son wouldn’t have to face the tragic death of his young wife. My son picked me up at the airport and his face told me the story of his terrible fear for his wife. Because of her weakened condition, she’d contracted pneumonia from a virus that is sometimes present in hospitals.
At the hospital, we were informed that our daughter-in-law’s temperature had reached 105°. We were allowed to see her every two hours for ten minutes. She was pale as death in her sedated state, a trachea tube in her throat and machines beeping by her side. Between visits we sat in the crowded intensive care waiting room. The two days’ growth of beard on my son’s face added to the despair I saw in his sunken eyes.
At about eight o’clock that evening, a nurse asked us to step into a private consultation room. I held my son’s hand as the doctor gave us the devastating news: “We’re doing all we can, but I do not think she’ll survive. I don’t think her lungs can withstand the pressure of this disease.”
In our numbed state, the nurse led us back to the waiting room. As I held my son’s hand, I tried to erase the vision of his wife’s pale, young body in her coffin, surrounded by white satin, and wondered how I could ever make arrangements to send her body to her parents.
Back in intensive care, my daughter-in-law hadn’t moved. She lay with her eyes closed, her dark hair spread out on the pillow. My son leaned over her, stroking her hand while I prayed. Then I remembered an article that I’d read that said that an unconscious person can hear what’s going on around them.
“Talk to her, son,” I encouraged him.
He promised his young wife a vacation in Florida. He promised to buy her a house where they would raise a family. And he reminded her again of the promised diamond ring that they couldn’t afford when they became engaged. She lay still, tubes coming out of her nose, her mouth, and her neck. The machine behind her emitted an ominous beep. When the nurse arrived to lead us back to the waiting room, my son wiped the tears from his eyes.
The nurse followed us to our seats and slipped into the chair beside my son. “I saw you come out of the ‘doom room.’ ”
We nodded.
“I hope you don’t repeat what I’m telling you, but I have seen many families leave that room unnecessarily devastated. Your wife’s doctor is a wonderful doctor and he’ll do everything in his power to save your wife, but his bedside manner is terrible. For some reason he feels that he must prepare families for the worst that could happen. I’m taking care of your wife. She is young and strong and she has a will to live. She is not giving up. I believe she will come out of this. Talk to her. Help her get well.”
For the first time in days I saw a ray of hope in my son’s face. “I believe that, too. I have to.”
After receiving a promise from the nurse that she’d call us if there was any change, I drove my fatigued son home and we fell, exhausted, into bed. The next day when we returned to the hospital, the nurse met us.
“Her temperature is down. If she continues to improve, she’ll make it.”
We sat throughout the day, visiting every hour. My son held his wife’s hand and talked to her all the while. When the nurse left in the afternoon, she gave us the thumbs-up sign. On our next visit, I noticed that my daughter-in-law’s color was better and she seemed to be sleeping more peacefully. For the first time in days, we were able to enjoy the food in the hospital cafeteria before we drove wearily back to the townhouse.
Our prayers were answered. My daughter-in-law continued to improve and was released from the hospital and I was able to fly back to Pennsylvania.
I don’t know if my son has kept all of the promises he made to his wife on that dark day, but he and his wife have provided us with two lovely grandchildren and my daughter-in-law proudly wears a diamond ring on the third finger of her left hand.

My Genetic Miracle

I’d start to fall asleep and the monitors would wake me with what seemed like never-ending beeps, telling me that my soon-to-be newborn’s heartbeat was decelerating. I was told that I was only being kept for observation and that I had no reason to worry. As I fell in and out of sleep, I was constantly being reminded of where I was and why I was there—from the belts digging into my abnormally large stomach to the antiseptic smell that loomed all around me.
The next morning, the doctor came to check on me. He explained that he’d induce my labor early. He assured me that “the baby will have a better chance of survival if we take him now.” I just kept repeating, “Survival? What are you saying?” My heart started pounding incredibly hard, my mind raced, and my entire body trembled with fear.
Six hours after the doctor started the drug to induce my labor, it was time to deliver my baby. I was rushed to the delivery room with pain and fear battling against each other. The pain was so great that I’d pass out and when I came to, only seconds had gone by. My body shook involuntarily from head to toe. Why I was so frightened still baffles me now. I’d done it twice before, so I knew what I was doing. I knew that in only minutes I’d be holding my third of God’s blessings, and I did just that. They let me hold him for a minute, all bundled up and beautiful. I could see his long, sparse lashes in the corners of his eyes, even though they were closed. His cheeks were so plump and pink, and his little bow tie lips were pursed. He was every mother’s dream. Then they swooped him off to the nursery. The hard part is over, or so I thought, and I fell into an exhausted sleep.
A pediatrician came in a while later to discuss my son’s exam. I could tell by the look on her face that something was wrong. She wanted him transferred to Children’s Hospital because they have specialists there to deal with newborns like my son. The rest of the discussion—“dysmorphic features,” “deformed feet,” and “hernias” was a blur.
Four hours after I gave birth we arrived at the hospital, where I was hopeful to receive some answers. Day after day and test after test I waited. A genetics specialist finally broke the news to me. She told me that my son has a chromosome deletion, a genetic disorder that is too rare to have a name. My first thought was: Did I do this? I didn’t take my vitamins the first few months because they made me sick. Several times I forgot to drink my morning orange juice. I wondered about the cold medicine I took. Why wasn’t I more careful? The geneticist apparently could tell what I was thinking, and she explained that it occurs in one out of three pregnancies. Only one out of ten thousand babies live to be born. So the simple fact that I was holding my son was truly one of God’s miracles.
The day finally came when my son was healthy enough to go home. I went through CPR, heart monitor, and car seat classes before we were released. I’d anticipated this moment from the day he was born, but it wasn’t like I expected. We were home but a few hours before I was ready to bring him back to the hospital. The heart monitor constantly sounded, his feedings were slow and tedious, and I felt that at any moment he could go into arrest and I wasn’t going to be prepared. I felt like a first-time mother, constantly worrying about every detail of his well being.
We’ve been home now for about four months and my son is just as wonderful as I ever hoped. I continue to do research on his specific chromosome deletion, and I am learning more than I ever wanted to know about genetic disorders. Sometimes I watch other parents and hope that they cherish and appreciate every milestone their child achieves. My son may never reach them. He will, however, reach his own milestones at his own pace and for that, I am grateful. When he does something as simple as a new smile or makes eye contact, my heart leaps with joy and swells with pride for his accomplishments. There are few precious gifts in the world and they should never be taken for granted.

A Miracle For Mom

In January of 1998, three weeks after my nephew was born, my grandfather died in his bed. A few weeks after the funeral, my mother decided to go back to work. Everything seemed to be going okay and getting back to normal. Then there was a grease fire in our kitchen that destroyed the stove, the walls, and the cabinets. Soon after the fire, my mother started getting notices from the city about the condition of our home, which had officially become my mother’s property. In order to keep from having to pay outrageous fines, my mother took out a mortgage loan on our home so that it could be remodeled, inside and out. When it was done, things appeared to be going well. Our home was beautifully redone and it felt good just to come home from school like I did every day of my life.
Then in early 1999 my mother was diagnosed with end-stage renal failure. Around the same time, she started getting letters from a ministry, claiming that they had visions of her and that Jesus sent them to help her. My mother didn’t pay much attention to the letters and usually discarded them. However, the letters kept coming seemingly every week.
But then in the summer of that same year, we found out that we were being evicted from our home. Unable to work because of her kidney failure, my mother fell behind on the mortgage payments. The same week we were notified about our eviction, another letter arrived from the ministry. This one, my mother decided to keep. She read the letter, followed the instructions, and sent a small donation. I guess she figured that it couldn’t make matters any worse.
A couple of weeks passed and we spent most of that time looking for an apartment, but most places wanted more than we could afford for a security deposit. Facing homelessness, my mother made plans to put our things in storage until we could find a place to live.
The day before our last day in our home, and while my mother was in the hospital with the first complications of her illness, we received a check in the mail for over three thousand dollars. It was enough for a security deposit and a couple months’ rent on a two-bedroom apartment in the same quiet neighborhood I grew up in. My mother still gets letters from that mysterious ministry and sends donations whenever possible. However, to this very day almost six years later, we still don’t know where the check came from, much less from whom.

I did all I could to make my husband wealthy, but his wealth became my nightmare (2)

When my mother died, my husband felt very sad. Our acquaintances in the U.S did not even know whose mother actually died. We had to come to Nigeria for the burial. But on the day of the burial, the most shocking thing happened. My mother-in-law was conspicuously absent. My friends and family could not believe it.
Some people even said they sighted her in her shop early that morning, gorgeously dressed and attending to customers. They were therefore surprised that she did not show up at the burial.
Later, a friend of mine, who my mother-in-law did not know, went to her shop and met her discussing with her very close friend. After listening to their discussion, she came home to tell me that I should be careful with my mother-in-law. She quoted her as saying that she did not come for my mother’s burial because she could not pretend to be saddened by her death. She was even quoted as saying that now that my mother was dead, my husband follows her to heaven and continues to make her his mother.
That statement meant so much to me, so two days later, I went to a pastor and complained to her. She prayed and revealed that my mother-in-law and some others in her group were responsible for my mother’s death. I would not have believed her, but for the fact that I had not said anything before she told me that. She went on to say that if I were not careful, I would soon die like my mother. She said the woman was very wicked and that she was ready to do anything to make sure that her son obeyed her only.
I left the woman’s place, partially convinced that what she had said was true. But I decided to behave as if I never heard it since there was no way I could confirm it. But I was shocked when my elder sister also came and said the same thing. She said the circumstances that surrounded my mother’s death made an aunt of mine to go in search of spiritual help. She said my mother just shouted from her sleep that she had headache, and she died a few minutes later.
My sister said she was there with my aunt when the spiritualist told her that my mother-in-law was responsible for our mother’s death. I pretended as if I had never heard a similar story. I told God that since I was a Christian, He should never allow any evil to befall me in the course of fighting for my right.
My sister advised me to divorce my husband since I had only two children for him. She said it was better for me to do so early so that I could find another husband in good time. But I was not ready to marry two husbands. I told her to only pray for me.
Although my husband saw his mother, I went back to the U.S. without seeing her. I made efforts to see her, but I could not. We had barely spent a month in the US when my husband said he was going to Europe. He said he would call me as soon as he got a line. But instead of Europe, he travelled to Lagos. I would not have known about it if a cousin of mine had not called me to say that she saw my husband and had thought that we came to Nigeria together before my younger sister told her that I was not around.
When I heard that my husband was in Nigeria and not Europe, I knew something was fishing. So, I travelled secretly to Lagos. This time, I picked a cab from the airport and headed straight home, without even alerting my close friend who had brought me home the first time. When I got home, my husband was not there and everywhere was very quiet.
I did not even see the security man, so I made for my room upstairs. What I saw almost made me to faint. Unknown to me, my husband had come for the christening of a set of twins another woman had for him. This was apart from the one he threw a party for earlier. My mother-in-law was there, sitting with her on the bed and helping her to take care of one of the twins. That baby almost dropped from her hand when she looked up and saw that it was me.
I did not know whether to faint or die outright. All that had happened was too much for me to bear. And I could no longer cry to my mother. The next thing my mother-in-law did was to put the baby on the bed and made to leave the room. I almost pulled her back forcibly when she reached the door, but for the grace of God.
I decided that I was not going to fight, but quietly drive my point home. So, I turned to Iya Ibeji (the mother of the twins) and told her that she should please leave my room and go to wherever she came from. But she also proved stubborn. She said she belonged there. I told her to look at the wedding pictures on the wall and look at me again, for her to know I am the legally married wife. She did so, hissed and started to pack her things. Although I was glad she did that, I told myself that if I were in her shoes, I would not have moved an inch.
She had a driver, so she called him and within 30 minutes, they were all out of the premises. Immediately they left, my mother-in-law came and started shouting at me. She said there was no way a woman would come to her son’s house to control him; that his son could marry as many wives as he wanted. I told her that she wanted to ruin his life like she ruined those of others. She grabbed me and said since I had started to abuse her; I should cap it with beating her up. It was her children that came and separated us.
My husband, knowing what had happened, refused to pick his calls or come home. I later learnt that he had gone with the woman to one of our houses in Lagos. When I complained to my sister, she said I should leave them alone so that they would not kill me. But I felt that if I did as my sister advised, it would amount to wasting all the efforts I have invested in my husband. I was not ready to let another woman have the last laugh. But when I started falling ill and my husband did not show his face still, I had to think twice.
One of our tenants called me and told me that I should seek spiritual help to my problem. She said my mother-in-law would make the house so hot for me that I would pack out in a hurry. She said I should allow her to do whatever she liked with her son instead of exposing myself to danger.
Most of my friends have also been saying that the source of my husband’s sudden wealth is questionable and I should be careful with him. I have been back in the U.S for the past six months. I am torn between keeping my marriage by staying neck-deep in trouble and leaving my husband and enjoying peace. He has called to beg me, but he says he does not have the guts to face me, which is why he has not joined me in the U.S.

What should I do?

Readers’ responses will be published.

I did all I could to make my husband wealthy, but his wealth became my nightmare

My husband was the first man in my life and we loved each other dearly even before we got married. I come from a fairly rich family, so my father could afford to send me to the United States of America for further learning after my first degree. My husband finished from the same university I attended a year before me, and he was about rounding off his national youth service when I was leaving for the US. It was a tough decision for me to take because I was not sure I would still have him when I returned to Nigeria.
I finally made up my mind to go, but not until my people had agreed to a wedding date. I was to come back after four months for the wedding. We agreed that my father would arrange my husband’s trip to the US too, so that we would not stay apart, and that he did in a record time.
The wedding was a big one. His people had nothing, so we had to shoulder the responsibility of making it successful. I was responsible for everything his nuclear family used on that day, and they were grateful.
After the wedding, we travelled together to the U.S. I waited till I had finished my master’s programme before I got pregnant. All through that time, my husband remained the calm and loving guy I had met and married. Then suddenly, God answered our prayers and everything changed for better. My husband met some of his schoolmates in the U.S and before I knew it, money started rolling in from everywhere.
I was happy, that at last, he was going to bail out his entire family from poverty. I also felt happy that I was instrumental to his breakthrough. He took very good care of my baby and me and also went home regularly to see his people. His job would not allow for him to just sit back in the U.S. He travelled a lot to England and other countries.
I had another child for him two years after the first one, and I did not suspect that he had changed from the man that I knew. Three years after his status changed, a friend of mine called me and said I must take the next flight to Nigeria to see what my husband was doing behind my back. I did not take her serious at first. But when she said she would pay my fare to Nigeria, I knew she meant business.
She told me to come on a particular day, and said I must not let my husband or even my people know that I had plans to come to Nigeria.
I took my children to a friend’s place so that I would be able to go to Nigeria as advised by my friend. She was at the airport the day I arrived Nigeria to take me straight to our house in Lagos. I asked her what the matter was. She said she had thought she should not tell me what it was until we got there, but on a second thought, she felt that if she did not, I could faint by the time I saw what was happening. She told me that they were having a naming ceremony in our house in Lagos and that my mother-in-law sold Ankara to her friends and hired a band.
To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was dumbfounded. However, I promised my friend that I would just walk in like a guest and leave them to their conscience. But when I got there, I could not. I went straight into our bedroom and found the mother of the baby there changing her clothes in the presence of some of her friends. My friend was following me to prevent me from doing anything rash, but she was not close enough. I grabbed the woman and dragged her out of the room, cursing on top of my voice as I did so.
My husband came and started begging. He prostrated and said I should not put him to shame, but I told him that the U.S police would soon come after him. I demanded that he sent the woman and her people out of the house immediately. When he was not doing so, I ran to the kitchen and took a knife. Immediately, he sent them and the baby out.
When the fight was over, I sat down on the bed and cried. My friend could not leave me alone because she did not know what could happen next. It was very difficult for me to bear such, but my husband was so remorseful that I did not know what to do. I had thought it was the end of our relationship but he begged that he did not know what went over him.
I was to spend only one week in Nigeria, so two days after that incident, I went to my parents’ house to let them know I was around and to tell my mother what happened despite the fact that my husband begged me not to. I felt that if I did not tell her, I would be doing myself more harm. She screamed when I told her what happened and told me to tell my husband to see her.
My husband respected my parents very much, so he went to see her immediately. I was there also. My mother talked to him like her son and he started crying. He said he did not really understand how all that happened and that it was as if he was under a spell.
On that note, we both left for the U.S. All attempts to see my mother-in-law proved abortive. My friend said it could be that she could not face me after all that happened that day. When we got back to the US, my husband kept to his promise to be a good husband. He refused to see the woman again and only sent money for the upkeep of her baby. But his mother was not happy. She called him one day and started saying all sorts of things on the phone. She did not know that I was the one that had picked the receiver, so she started saying that he was not meant for one woman only, that he was going to marry the woman that bore him a son whether he liked it or not. She said she knew that my parents and I had charmed him and that before long, he would see her handiwork. She said any mother that did not want her to reap the fruit of her labour in respect of her son would die untimely. She said she knew that my husband had made my mother his mother, and that she would make sure that she corrected that.
That day, I just dropped the phone without letting her know that she had been talking to the wrong person. I wondered how the woman could change so much overnight. The same woman that almost cursed herself as she prayed for me the day my father got my husband a visa. The woman who promised to fight tooth and nail to make sure I reaped the fruit of my labour. I was crying when my husband came in. He asked what happened and I told him. He said she was just being a woman and that I should not mind her. But deep down in me, I knew I was in for real trouble.
Two months after that, we heard the shocking news that my beloved mother had died.

Watch out for the concluding part of this intriguing story.

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms Prt 3

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, it seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old. I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy. I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious. She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife, which was her favorite. The sales girl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old. That was what he thought... he returned home with the hope of giving his wife the flowers, as he came through the driveway, there were cars, there was his and her family at his house, his heart beating fast, as he was about to walk through the door, a stretcher with a body wrapped in white was coming out, he sobbed his heart out as he realized it was his wife and that when he carried her out of the house in his arms that morning it was the last time. He thought of all the time he'd wasted, the pain he caused his wife during her last days, not realizing he had given the virus to her, he realized then that he neglected a thing so beautiful and wonderful, a treasure he should have preserved, but it was too late, the damage had already been done, all the things he could have done differently, all the things he could have said, all the times they could have done things to make their love grow, all the sweet memories they should have built.........nothing could turn back the clock. Reality hit, he was a selfish self absorbent fool, a womanizer with no morals who brought shame and death to his home because of greed and lack of respect for women and in this case particularly his wife, and the sad reality of his wife dying and the inevitability of him too dying leaving their son and AIDS orphan hit home.

Married: Don't take your marriage for granted. Remember the vows u made before God. Fights with all that u have. God bless.

Single but wish to get married: Know your ideal partner & not settle for less coz u'll end-up in the divorce court.

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms Prt 2

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes. Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one-day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer. Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning. I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

FIGHT AGAINST RACISM

I'm sure most of us knows Oprah Winfrey or has heard about her at one time or the other, she is the brain behind the Oprah Winfrey show and in one of her recent taping of the show her guest was Tommy Hilfiger (the popular clothes designer). On the show, she asked him If the statements about race he was accused of saying were true. Statements like"..."If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish and Asians would buy my clothes, I would not have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper Class white people." His answer to Oprah was a simple "YES". Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show. I think that's good for Oprah.

Applause for her please.

Here is a scene that took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the Air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available." The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there is no other available seat in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting." She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."
At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

This is a true story.